The guest comes first
Manuhar: Rajasthani hospitality has its own word, the art of insisting, warmly and repeatedly, that a guest should eat one more piece, drink one more cup and stay one more night.
Your plate: in a Rajasthani home or a village fort, expect it to be refilled before you have finished.
- Atithi devo bhava
- The guest is god
- Manuhar
- Warm, repeated insisting
- To stop eating
- Say bas twice, hand over plate
- Expected of you
- Modest dress, patience, interest
- How to stop: saying no once is understood as politeness. To really stop, say it twice, smile, put your hand gently over your plate and say bas, enough.
- Questions in the street: where you are from, whether you are married, how many children you have, what you think of India. These are not rude here. They are how people place you and make friends.
- Ask back: answer as much as you like, ask the same in return, and you will often be invited for tea.
- What a guest owes: dress respectfully, follow the rules of sacred places, be patient and show interest.
Greetings and forms of address
- Everywhere
- Namaste, palms together
- Rajasthani greeting
- Khamma ghani, reply ghani khamma
- In villages
- Ram ram sa
- Respect
- Add sa: haan sa, na sa
- Royal titles
- Official standing ended in 1971
Namaste and khamma ghani
Safest anywhere: namaste, with your palms pressed together at your chest and a small nod.
- In Rajasthan: khamma ghani is the traditional greeting, especially in Marwar and Mewar, and using it brings delighted smiles.
- In villages: you may also hear ram ram sa.
- With Muslim families: adaab or salaam alaikum, and namaste is always acceptable.
The magic of sa
A mark of respect: Rajasthanis add sa to words and names.
- Yes and no: haan sa means yes, politely, and na sa means no, gently.
- With names: a guide called Mahendra might be called Mahendra sa by people who respect him.
- Try it: add sa to your thank yous and your yeses, and people will notice and be charmed.
Hukum, and royal families
Hukum: literally command, the way Rajasthanis address a member of a former ruling family, a noble or a respected elder.
- Since 1971: royal titles lost their official standing when the government ended the princes' privileges, but they are still used by courtesy and affection.
- Meeting a royal host: at a palace hotel or private dinner, Your Highness or the name their staff use is polite.
- More: our page on meeting Rajasthan's royal families.
Handshakes and touch
Men: commonly shake hands with men.
- Women: many, especially in villages and older families, prefer not to shake hands with men. Let a woman offer her hand first, and use namaste otherwise.
- Touching feet: younger people touch the feet of elders as respect. Nobody expects visitors to, but it is lovely to understand.
- Heads: avoid touching anyone's head, including children's, the most sacred part of the body.
What to wear
Cover shoulders and knees: in old cities, villages, temples and mosques, for men and women alike.
What works: loose trousers, long skirts, dresses and tunics, plus a large scarf for temples and sun alike.
Off duty: in hotels, by the pool and on safari, wear what you like.
- What draws stares: short shorts, crop tops and low necklines in public, and some sacred places will turn you away.
- Heads covered: at dargahs, mosques and Sikh gurdwaras, for men and women. A scarf works, and caps are sold at the gates of the Ajmer Sharif Dargah.
- Jain temples: leather belts, bags and shoes are often not allowed inside.
- Weddings: bright colours are welcome. White, traditionally worn in mourning, and black are usually avoided.
- Turbans: their colour and tie once told you a man's community and region.
- The odhni: the patterns of a woman's head scarf still mark the seasons and festivals. Leheriya, the wave-patterned tie-dye, is worn for Teej, and many women wear green for it.
- Read on: Rajasthani dress and textiles explains what you are seeing, and our packing guide suggests what to bring.
In temples and sacred places
- Shoes
- Off at every temple, mosque, dargah, gurdwara
- Socks
- Usually fine
- Walk
- Clockwise, deity on your right
- Inner sanctum
- Often no photography
- Prasad
- Accept with the right hand
- Go deeper: our guide to temple etiquette, and our page on faith and temples for the traditions behind them.
The basics, everywhere
Shoes off: before any temple, mosque, dargah or gurdwara, and often before you step onto a ghat. Socks help on hot or cold marble.
Cover up: shoulders and knees.
- Quiet: speak softly, switch your phone to silent and follow the flow of people.
- Clockwise: many shrines are walked around keeping the deity on your right.
- Feet and hands: don't point your feet at an altar or a holy person, and don't touch images or offerings unless invited.
Photography
The inner sanctum: photography is often not allowed there, even when the courtyards are fine.
- Ask: look for signs, ask your guide and never photograph people praying without permission.
- Camera tickets: some temples charge separately for cameras.
- When in doubt: put the camera away and simply watch.
Offerings and donations
Prasad: a blessed sweet or flower, offered after a prayer. Accept it with your right hand or both hands cupped, and eat or keep it rather than throw it away.
- Donations: welcome at most temples, never an obligation.
- Where to give: the official donation box, not people who approach you.
Jain temples
Among India's most beautiful: Ranakpur and Dilwara at Mount Abu.
- Their own rules: leather is often not allowed inside, and food, drink and tobacco never are.
- Hours: some areas are reserved for worshippers at certain times.
- Notices: read them at the entrance, usually in English as well as Hindi.
Traditional rules
- Who may enter: some temples have traditional rules about who may enter certain parts, at certain times.
- Our guides: they will tell you discreetly if a rule applies, and we ask guests to respect them as given, even if they seem unfamiliar.
Pushkar's ghats and Ajmer's dargah
- Distance apart
- About fifteen kilometres
- Pushkar
- No meat, eggs or alcohol
- On the ghats
- Shoes off, no photos of bathers
- At the dargah
- Head covered, shoes off
- Busiest at Ajmer
- Thursday evenings and the Urs
In Pushkar
A sacred town: Pushkar keeps its rules. Meat, eggs and alcohol are not served, and public displays of affection are frowned upon.
- The ghats: shoes come off before you step onto the stone steps that lead down to the lake.
- Bathers: don't photograph people bathing, especially women.
- The flower trick: some men on the ghats offer flowers and a blessing at the water's edge, then ask for a large donation.
At the Ajmer Sharif Dargah
Open to all faiths: the dargah of the Sufi saint Khwaja Moinuddin Chishti welcomes everyone.
How to dress: cover your head, take off your shoes at the entrance and dress modestly.
- The lanes: crowded, so keep your bag in front of you.
- Offerings: pilgrims bring flowers and embroidered cloths, called chadar, for the tomb, and the khadims, the hereditary custodians, guide them in prayer. Your guide will help you offer properly.
- Qawwali: on Thursday evenings and during the Urs the lanes are packed and the music is at its most moving.
At the table
The right hand
Eat, give, receive: traditionally with the right hand. The left is used for washing and considered unclean.
- Cutlery is fine: good restaurants and hotels provide it, and you can use it.
- Eating by hand: use the fingertips of your right hand to tear bread and scoop up dal and vegetables.
- Wash before and after: a bowl of water or a basin is usually offered.
Jootha, food touched by the mouth
What it means: food or drink that has touched someone's lips or plate is jootha, considered impure.
- Don't share from your plate: and don't put your lips to a shared water bottle.
- The pour: Indians pour water into their mouths from a height without touching the bottle. It takes practice, so use a glass.
In vegetarian homes
Strictly vegetarian: many Rajasthani families are, and some Jain families also avoid onions, garlic and root vegetables.
- What not to bring: meat, eggs or alcohol, and don't ask for them.
- Dietary needs: tell us before you visit, and the family will be pleased to cook for you.
Thalis and sharing
A thali: a large plate with small bowls of dal, vegetables, curd, chutney and a sweet, eaten with breads and rice.
- Refills: servers keep refilling it, and it is fine to accept some dishes and politely refuse others.
- Leftovers: fine in a restaurant, but in a home it is kinder to take less and finish it.
- The dishes: our Rajasthani food guide.
In homes, villages and royal households
Sit where invited: admire the house and the children, and ask about the family.
The photo albums: accept them with patience, because that is where the stories are.
Gift ideas: sweets from a good shop, something from your own country or a book of photographs.
- Shoes
- Off at the door if your hosts do
- Tea or water
- Accept, even if you only sip
- Gifts
- Welcome, never expected
- Hand it over
- Right hand, or both hands
- Ghoonghat: in villages, women may stay in a separate part of the house, and some still cover their faces with their odhni in front of older men or strangers. Don't photograph it without permission.
- Let women lead: women visitors are best placed to lead any conversation with the women of the house.
- Our village visits: rural homestays and Bishnoi village visits are arranged with families we know, as guests rather than as a show.
- Royal and noble hosts: they appreciate being treated as hosts rather than hoteliers.
- At a palace or fort: join them for a drink before dinner if invited, ask about the house and the family portraits, and dress a little smartly for the evening.
- More: our journal note on staying with a royal family.
At festivals and weddings
If you are invited to a wedding
Several days: separate ceremonies for mehndi, music, the groom's procession and the wedding itself. Guests may come to some events and not others.
- What to wear: bright colours, dressed up, avoiding white and black.
- The gift: cash in an envelope, often an amount ending in one, such as 101 or 501 rupees, is traditional. A beautifully wrapped present is also fine.
- Follow the family: ask before photographing the ceremony, and take their lead on where to sit and when to eat.
At Holi
Consent matters: Holi is joyful, playful and physical. Play with people you know or a group your guide is with.
- Ask first: before putting colour on anyone, especially women, and expect the same in return.
- Not playing? Stay in your hotel for the morning, because colour in the street is hard to avoid.
- Celebrating safely: our Holi guide.
At processions and fairs
Right of way: at Gangaur, Teej and the great fairs, the goddess or the procession goes first.
- Stand back: don't block the route for a photograph, and let your guide choose where to watch.
- During prayers: take off your hat and stay quiet.
- Prasad: if offered from the procession, accept it with your right hand.
Photographs and people
Ask first: with a smile and a gesture at your camera. Most people say yes, and many are delighted. If someone says no, accept it graciously.
Women and children: take special care with women in villages, who may not want a stranger's camera, and ask parents before photographing children.
- Paid photographs: people in costume, snake charmers and others in tourist spots may ask for money afterwards. Agree first, or don't take it.
- Animals: we prefer not to support anyone using animals for photographs.
- Never photograph: military installations, police, airports or border areas. Respect no-photography signs in temples and museums.
- Cremation grounds: at the ghats of Varanasi and elsewhere, don't photograph funerals or mourners.
- Share it: show people the photograph afterwards, and if you promise to send a copy, do it. Our guides can help.
- Light and permissions: our photography tips cover the best hours at each fort.
Body language and small habits
The head wobble: a gentle side-to-side tilt that usually means yes, I understand or all right. It is friendly, not uncertain.
Pointing: use your whole hand or your chin rather than a single finger, which can seem rude.
Beckoning: with your palm facing down.
- Feet: considered unclean. Don't point your soles at people or sacred objects.
- Saying sorry: if you touch someone with your foot by accident, apologise. Many Indians touch the person's arm and then their own forehead.
- Affection: beyond holding hands, keep it private, most of all in temples, villages and holy towns.
- Men holding hands: a sign of friendship, and common.
- Anger: raised voices embarrass everyone and rarely solve anything. A smile and patience work far better.
- Time is flexible: five minutes can mean twenty. Build slack into your days and enjoy the chai while you wait.
Shopping, bargaining and giving
How to bargain: decide what something is worth to you, offer a fair price, smile and be willing to walk away.
Be fair: don't haggle hard over very small amounts with people who are clearly poor.
- Bazaars and small shops
- Yes, in a friendly way
- Fixed-price shops
- No
- Hotels
- No
- Government emporiums
- No
- Mean it: don't start bargaining for something you don't intend to buy.
- Read on: money and tipping explains tipping, and our shopping guide explains how to find good craft.
- Begging: children and adults ask for money near temples and traffic lights, and it is a hard thing to see.
- Please don't give to children: money, sweets or pens can keep them out of school and on the streets.
- Helping well: we can suggest local schools and charities that do good work. See travelling responsibly.
With your guide, driver and hotel staff
Add ji: Indians often add ji after a name as a mark of respect, as in Ramesh ji, and your guide and driver will appreciate it.
Lunch with your driver: ask whether he has eaten, and invite him to join you if you like. He may politely decline and eat with the other drivers, often where the best food is.
- Palace staff: they will call you sir or madam, and they will be pleased if you learn their names.
- Tipping: customary for guides, drivers and hotel staff. Our money and tipping guide explains how it works.
- How to tip: in an envelope or folded into your right hand, with a word of thanks.
Ten words that open doors
Khamma ghani: the Rajasthani greeting, especially in Marwar and Mewar. The reply is ghani khamma.
Namaste: hello and goodbye, understood everywhere in India.
Padharo: please come, welcome, as in padharo mhare des, welcome to my land.
- Khamma ghani
- Hello, the Rajasthani way
- Haan sa
- Yes, politely
- Dhanyavaad
- Thank you
- Bas
- Enough
- Kitna
- How much?
- Sa: a mark of respect added to words and names, as in haan sa, yes please.
- Hukum: a respectful form of address for an elder or a member of a noble family.
- Dhanyavaad or shukriya: thank you. Many people simply say thank you in English.
- Bas: enough. Useful at every meal.
- Theek hai: fine, all right, OK.
- Kitna: how much?
- Chalo: let's go. The word your driver will say every morning.
- Many more: our guide to Rajasthani words and phrases, with meanings and when to use them.