What makes a wedding Rajput
Most of the rituals are shared with Hindu weddings across north India. What makes a Rajput wedding different is the sword, the horse, the dress and the long memory of court ceremony.
The sword: a Rajput groom carries a sword, a reminder that his ancestors were warriors. He keeps it at his side through most of the ceremonies.
The horse: the groom rides to the bride's home on a horse, usually a white mare, in the old manner of a prince arriving at a fort.
Facts to know
- Rajput
- The warrior and ruling clans of Rajasthan
- Shared rites
- Haldi, mehndi, pheras, vidaai
- Rajput touches
- Sword, toran, safa, poshak
- Language
- Songs in Marwari, Mewari or Dhundhari
- The clothes: the bride often wears a Rajputi poshak, the traditional dress of the clan, and the groom an achkan or sherwani with a tied turban.
- The court manners: greetings, gifts and seating follow old rules of rank and kinship, and elders are consulted on every detail.
- The songs: women of both families sing banna and banni songs, the wedding songs for the groom and the bride, many of them centuries old.
- Every family is different: customs vary between clans, regions and generations. What follows is the broad shape, not a rulebook.
The weeks before: letters, gods and family
Long before the band arrives, the wedding has begun in the kitchen, the prayer room and the post. Our grandmother used to say a wedding starts the day the date is fixed.
Fixing the date
The muhurat: a family priest reads the horoscopes of the couple and names an auspicious day and hour, the muhurat, for the pheras.
- Seasons to avoid: many families do not marry in the monsoon months until Dev Uthani Ekadashi in October or November, or in a period around mid-December to mid-January.
- Busy days: on the most auspicious dates, hundreds of weddings happen across Rajasthan at once, and venues, priests and bands are booked a year ahead.
The engagement and the tilak
- Sagai: the engagement, when the families formally agree the match and exchange gifts.
- Tilak: the bride's family visits the groom's home, marks his forehead with vermilion and gives him gifts, a sign that he has been accepted.
The wedding letter
- Lagan patrika: a letter written by the priest that gives the date and hour of the wedding, sent from the bride's family to the groom's.
- How it arrives: it is often wrapped in red cloth and carried by a family member. Its arrival is a small ceremony in itself.
Ganesh first
- Why: Ganesh, the remover of obstacles, is worshipped at the start of anything important.
- At home: an image of Ganesh is installed, and the first wedding invitation is placed before him before any are sent out.
Local tip
If a Rajasthani friend gives you a wedding card, look at the top. You will almost always find a small image of Ganesh and a line of prayer before the names.
The days of turmeric, henna and song
The days before the wedding are for the family. Houses fill with aunts, songs drift out of every room and the bride is not supposed to leave home.
Pithi, the turmeric blessing
What it is: a paste of turmeric, gram flour and fragrant oils, rubbed on the bride and groom by their families, separately.
- Why: it is said to brighten the skin and protect the couple from bad luck. After the pithi, they stay at home until the wedding.
- The mood: joyful, messy, and full of teasing. Wear old clothes or yellow ones.
Mehndi, the henna
What it is: henna artists paint the bride's hands and feet in fine patterns, often hiding the groom's name for him to find.
- The belief: the darker the stain, the stronger the love, or the kinder the mother-in-law, depending on who is telling it.
- For guests: women guests usually have their hands painted too. Our page on mehndi explains the art.
Mayra, the uncle's gifts
- What it is: the bride's or groom's maternal uncle arrives with gifts of clothes, jewellery and money for his sister's child.
- Why it matters: it honours the mother's family and the bond between brother and sister. It is one of the most emotional rites of a Rajasthani wedding.
Sangeet and the women's songs
- What it is: an evening of music and dance when the families sing and perform for each other.
- In Rajput homes: the women may dance ghoomar, the swirling dance of Rajasthan, in long skirts that spread like flowers. Our folk music page explains the music.
The groom sets out
On the wedding day the groom is dressed like a prince going to war. In a sense, that is exactly what the old ceremony remembers.
Tying the safa: an elder or a turban specialist ties the groom's turban, often five to nine metres of fine cloth. Our page on turban tying explains the styles.
The sehra: a veil of strung flowers, pearls or tinsel hangs from the turban over his face, to protect him from the evil eye.
What the groom wears
- Coat
- Achkan or sherwani
- Turban
- Safa, often in pink, saffron or leheriya
- Veil
- Sehra of flowers, pearls or tinsel
- At his side
- A sword
- Shoes
- Embroidered mojari
- Nikasi: the departure from home. His sisters and female cousins see him off, and the procession forms outside.
- The mare: he mounts the horse, often with a small child, a nephew, riding in front of him for luck.
- The kohl and the coin: his mother or sister may mark his eyes with kohl and wave coins around his head to ward off bad luck, then give them away.
The baraat, the loudest hour of the wedding
A brass band in red uniforms, drummers, men carrying lights on their heads and the groom's family dancing in the road. Every street in Rajasthan stops for a baraat.
What it is: the groom's wedding procession from his lodging to the bride's home or venue, with his family and friends dancing ahead.
The music: a brass band, a dhol drum and in grand weddings folk musicians. The same few tunes play all night, and everyone knows the steps.
- The pace: slow, very slow. A baraat that should take ten minutes often takes an hour, and nobody minds.
- The money: relatives wave notes over the groom's head and hand them to the musicians, a gesture of blessing and celebration.
- The animals: we arrange baraats only with well-kept horses from handlers we know, and never with elephants. Horses do not work in the heat of the day.
- If you meet one in the street: step aside and smile. If someone pulls you into the dancing, a few steps is a kindness, and then you can slip away.
Local tip
Dance in the baraat if you are a guest, even if you think you cannot. The groom's side is judged by how much it dances, and the elders will remember you for it.
At the bride's door: the toran and the welcome
The procession stops at the bride's gate, and one of the most Rajput moments of the whole wedding takes place there, on horseback.
The toran
What it is: a carved wooden emblem, often shaped like a bird or a small arch, hung over the bride's door. Our architecture guide explains its place in Rajasthani building.
- The ritual: still mounted, the groom touches or strikes the toran with his sword or a sprig of neem. Families give different meanings for it.
- Why it matters: in Rajasthan this is one of the oldest and most widely kept wedding rites, and the moment the bride's family accepts the groom at the door.
The welcome
- Aarti: the bride's mother greets the groom with a lamp and a tray of rice, vermilion and sweets.
- Milni: the men of the two families meet and embrace, relative by relative, uncle to uncle, often with gifts of turbans or shawls.
The garlands
- Varmala: the bride and groom exchange garlands of flowers on a raised stage.
- The game: friends lift the groom so the bride cannot reach his neck, and her side lifts her in return. It is the moment the whole crowd cheers.
The pheras, the vows around the fire
After the noise comes quiet. Late at night, at the hour the priest has chosen, the couple sit before a small sacred fire under a canopy of flowers.
We have sat through many pheras at three in the morning, half asleep, with a shawl around our shoulders and a cup of sweet tea going cold. Then the priest ties the knot, the couple stand, and the whole tent wakes up. That small rope between two scarves is what everything else was for.
The mandap: a canopy, often on four posts and hung with marigolds, under which the sacred fire is lit.
- Kanyadaan: the bride's father places her hand in the groom's, the most solemn moment for her family.
- The knot: the groom's scarf is tied to the bride's odhni or sari, the gathbandhan, and they stay tied through the rounds.
- The rounds: the couple walk around the fire while the priest chants in Sanskrit. Most families take seven rounds, though customs differ between communities.
- The vows: with each round the couple make a promise to each other, of care, faith and partnership.
- Sindoor: the groom marks the parting of the bride's hair with vermilion, a sign that she is married.
- Legal note: in a Hindu marriage the pheras are what make the couple husband and wife. Our destination weddings page explains the legal side for couples from abroad.
What the Rajput bride wears
A Rajput bride is dressed in red or deep pink, her face veiled and her head heavy with gold. Each piece has a name and a meaning.
The poshak: a full skirt, the ghagra, with a fitted bodice, the kanchli, a tunic, the kurti, and a long veil, the odhni. Our guide to dress and textiles explains each part.
The fabric: heavy silk or georgette, worked with gold thread, gota ribbon and fine embroidery. Many brides wear red bandhani or a piece handed down from a grandmother.
Facts to know
- Dress
- Rajputi poshak or a heavy wedding sari
- Colours
- Red, rani pink, saffron, gold
- Forehead
- Borla, a round gold pendant
- Necklace
- Aad, a broad Rajput choker
- Arms
- Bajuband armlets and many bangles
- The borla: a round, ridged gold pendant worn at the centre of the forehead. It is one of the most recognisable pieces of Rajasthani jewellery.
- The aad: a broad, flat choker, often set with uncut stones, worn high on the neck.
- The veil: in traditional Rajput families the bride keeps her face covered by the odhni through much of the ceremony.
- Sari or poshak: many brides now choose a wedding sari instead. Our piece on how to wear a sari explains the drape.
After the vows: games, tears and a new home
The last rituals are the tenderest. They are about leaving one family, joining another and learning to laugh together.
Juta chupai, the stolen shoes
- What happens: the bride's sisters hide the groom's shoes during the pheras and demand a ransom to return them.
- The rule: the bargaining is part of the fun. The groom always pays, and always pretends not to want to.
Vidaai, the farewell
- What happens: the bride leaves her parents' home with her husband. She throws rice back over her head, a wish for her family's prosperity.
- The mood: almost always tearful. Women sing farewell songs, and even guests who met the bride that week find their eyes wet.
Arrival at the new home
- Griha pravesh: at her new home, the bride gently tips over a pot of rice at the threshold with her foot and steps inside, bringing plenty with her.
- The ring game: a ring is dropped into a bowl of milk or coloured water, and the couple search for it with their hands. Whoever finds it first is said to rule the house.
Untying the threads
- Kangan: the sacred threads tied on the couple's wrists before the wedding are untied in a playful ceremony, often a contest of fingers and patience.
- The end: with that, the wedding is over and the visits to temples and relatives begin.
The wedding feast
No Rajasthani wedding is judged on its flowers. It is judged on its food, and the aunts keep score for years.
The sweets come first: boxes of laddoos, mohanthal and ghevar in season go out to relatives and neighbours long before the wedding day.
The village way: in many villages the whole community eats seated in long rows on the ground, served from brass buckets by the bride's family.
- The classic dishes: dal baati churma, gatte, kadhi, ker sangri and puris. Our dal baati churma recipe explains the great festive meal.
- The Rajput table: some Rajput families serve meat at wedding feasts, including the famous laal maas, while many others keep the wedding vegetarian.
- The rule for guests: you will be offered second and third helpings. Accept a little each time, and cover your plate with your hand when you truly cannot eat more.
How to be a good wedding guest
If you are lucky enough to be invited to a Rajasthani wedding, these are the things we tell our own friends from abroad.
What to wear: bright colours. Pink, saffron, green and gold are perfect. Avoid all white and all black, which are linked with mourning in many families.
Dress for each event: something light and yellow for the pithi, comfortable for the mehndi, your grandest outfit for the wedding night.
Before you go
- Gift
- Cash in an envelope, ending in 1
- Avoid wearing
- All white or all black
- Head cover
- A scarf for the pheras
- Pace
- Late nights, long waits
- Borrow the look: we can arrange a tailor or a turban tier, and a sari or lehenga fitting in Jaipur. Wearing local dress is taken as a compliment.
- The gift: cash in an envelope, the shagun, is normal and welcome. Families add one to round sums, so 101 or 501 rather than 100 or 500, for luck.
- At the pheras: sit quietly, cover your head if the women around you do, and keep your phone away during the vows.
- At meals: take a little of everything and go back for more. Eat with your right hand if you eat with your fingers.
- Timing: nothing starts on time, and the pheras may happen after midnight. Rest in the afternoon and pace yourself.
- Photographs: ask before photographing the bride or older women, and follow the lead of the family's photographer.
Local tip
Learn one phrase: khamma ghani, the Rajput greeting. Say it to the elders with folded hands and you will be fed and fussed over all evening.
Old customs, new weddings
Rajput weddings have changed a great deal in our own lifetime. Some changes are welcome, and some old customs are rightly gone.
Smaller and shorter: many city families now hold the wedding over two or three days rather than a week.
Palaces and hotels: where weddings were once held at home, many are now held in palace hotels and heritage havelis.
- The law: child marriage is illegal in India, and dowry is prohibited by law. Old customs that harmed girls are being left behind, and families are proud of it.
- Akha Teej: the spring festival day of Akshaya Tritiya is still one of the most popular wedding days in Rajasthan, with many weddings across villages and towns.
- Choosing rituals: many couples now pick the rituals that mean most to them. Mixed-faith and international couples often blend traditions.
If you want a wedding or blessing in Rajasthan
Many of our guests come to Rajasthan to marry, renew vows or simply see a wedding. Here is where to start.
A wedding of your own
- Where: lake palaces in Udaipur, garden palaces in Jaipur, a fort above Jodhpur or a camp in the dunes.
- When: plan nine to eighteen months ahead for the best venues and dates.
A vow renewal or blessing
- What we arrange: a small Hindu-style blessing with a priest who explains each step, a garland exchange and a few rounds of a sacred fire.
- Where: a palace terrace, a haveli courtyard or a lakeside ghat at dusk.
Choosing a venue
- Our guide: we compare palaces, forts and camps by guest numbers, season and mood in our journal on Rajasthan wedding venues.